Earlier this year, I felt pressed to do a fast. I shared previously about how completely selfish I was… how completely selfish I am… because, let’s be honest, I’m still working it out all day, err’day.

After me and Jesus settled the issue of when I would fast, we had to tackle the what. I knew He was asking me to give up food. Not just certain foods like I had previously done, but ALL foods. Ugh. I wanted to pretend like I couldn’t hear Him or feel His nudge on this one. I began reasoning with Him… again. As if the second round of reasoning would yield a different result than the first (I’m pretty sure that’s the definition of insanity).

My excuses this time?

EXCUSE #1:

I have kids. Have you met them, God? I need all the energy I can get in order to take care of them.

EXCUSE #2 (And one that I use often):

I’m just not sure I’m “called” to give up ALL foods.

EXCUSE #3:

Every time I have tried to give up all foods before, I have never been able to follow through. I inevitably break my fast within a matter of minutes to hours. So how in the world do I think I am going to be able to do it this time??

His response? “Why don’t you ask Me to help you?”

What? Ask You for help on something that I’m doing for You?! That just doesn’t seem right. I wouldn’t ask a friend for help on something that I was doing for her.

I’ll be honest. In all of my years of following Jesus, in all of my years of hearing about fasting and participating in fasting, I never once thought to ask the Holy Spirit to help me with it.

Oh friend, how often we do this in our daily lives (or at least I do). We begin doing things for God and forget to ask for His help. I am so often guilty of this. I feel like I should be doing it all by myself since it’s for Him, but that’s not what He’s asked us to do. He wants to help us. He wants to do things withˆus. He wants to do things through us.

He made it very clear in a talk that John recorded. You can find it in John 15:4-5.

Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

The thing is, I knew this truth. I had even given a talk on it just a few months prior! Most of us who are Jesus followers know this truth, yet we seem to forget it or not give it the seriousness it deserves. Jesus wants us to bear fruit and do great things, but He doesn’t want us to do it apart from Him or without Him. He wants to do it through us.

If we don’t ask Him to help us and stay connected to Him, we can do nothing. That hurts to hear sometimes, because I like control, and I like to work hard and achieve things. I also really do enjoy doing things for others. So when I am doing things for God, I like to achieve it on my own. But that’s not how He’s designed it. And boy, is that freeing.

So whatever you’re doing. Whatever you’re working on. Whatever the daily grind is for you. Whether you’re mom-ing, wife-ing, running a business, working at a business, blogging, writing, designing, creating, serving, leading — don’t do it on your own or in your own strength. The only thing that will yield is exhaustion and frustration, and eventually, you may throw in the towel. Instead, if you’re a Jesus follower, ask the Holy Spirit to help you. There is no situation or struggle or mediocre task that He doesn’t care about, and that He isn’t willing to help us with.

So what are we waiting for?

The last time we met here we all suffered from a hard reality check that we are not in control and that rest and Sabbath are more about Him than us. If ya’ll still like me enough after that to continue, I want to share with you one last thing that God has been teaching me about rest.

And sidenote, if you still think that you ain’t got time for this funny idea called “rest”, let me tell you something.

1. I feel ya, girl.

Most of the time, the Holy Spirit still wrestles with me to stop and push the breaks for even just a few minutes… Okay, let’s be real. I’m the one wrestling with the Holy Spirit, but I digress.

2. Sister, this is something God is wanting us to take more seriously than we do.

And with that, let me tell you the hard truth He hit me with not long ago…

| WE CANNOT DO THIS ALONE |

Life here in Western culture often feels like it’s going faster and faster. We have multiple plates we’re juggling, multiple ways of receiving information, and multiple ways to be contacted. In the world we live in and because of all of the responsibilities most of us are attempting to balance, it’s extremely hard to shut it all off and simply get away, even if for just thirty minutes. Lunch breaks are another time to catch up on what we missed while we were at our jobs, and evenings are times when we catch up on laundry, dishes, home repairs, emails, or side hustles.

I was driving down the road the other day, having a little wrestling match with God (we have those occasionally, because I’m stubborn). I had been feeling depleted and exhausted but had so much work to do. I knew He was asking me to steal away some time with Him and simply rest and be. But I felt like there was no possible way for me to do that. I flat out told Him, “I cannot afford to do that.” And the Holy Spirit immediately whispered back to me “You cannot afford not to.”

#micdrop

And sidenote, I’m pretty sure the Holy Spirit would have totally done a literal mic drop had He been holding one.

Wow. The wrestling immediately seized. I gave up trying to wiggle and fight and struggle. I surrendered. He was right. I may feel like I can’t afford to take time to rest, but the truth is that I can’t afford not to.

“I may feel like I can’t afford to take time to rest, but the truth is that I can’t afford not to.”

And can I remind us for a minute, that Jesus Himself would go away to lonely places to rest and pray? Why we think we can do it differently than Jesus did, I don’t know. But we do, don’t we? Or is that just me?

Not only were our bodies not designed for going full-force, full-speed ahead, 24/7, but we also will never be able to do what it is God is asking us to do if we don’t stop, breathe, and rest in Him. We have to prioritize spending time with Him and resting in Him. If we do not, then sure, you might be able to do a few things He has purposed you to do, but you’ll be exhausted, burned out, and miserable. Oh, and it may take you FOREVER to get there, because, friend, it’s hard to climb a mountain on your own.

We were never created to fulfill our purpose on our own or within our own strength. If we were, God wouldn’t receive the glory for it… we would. HE wants to fulfill HIS purpose and plan through us. We just have to unplug from our tasks and the world around us, even for just a moment (including all of you who feel like you have “zero” free time… though I beg to differ), and plug into Jesus — the One Who can and will recharge us, strengthen us, empower us, and fulfill His purpose through us.

We can’t do it on our own, nor should we.

So how about this week, we accept the challenge (because it is a challenge) to take moments of Sabbath throughout the days ahead. To flip our focus back to the One Whom everything really does depend on and allow Him to replenish us, so we have something actually worthwhile to give.

I am asking us all, myself included, to hit the breaks and slow down some before we run right past our purpose and straight into the ground.

We can do this. And, friend, we have to.

As a wife, momma, employee, volunteer, and leader the word “rest” sounds like a cute little fairytale someone made up. Or maybe a joke? Something to tease us with and keep just out of our reach.

I don’t know about you, but I am a doer and overachiever. I’m not proud of it. I am just competitive deep down to my core. Secretly (or maybe not so secretly), I find my value and worth through recognition and striving to accomplish things. If I sit down to take a break, I make sure no one is watching. I close the door. I’ll even pretend like I’m doing something if someone sees me resting! Why? Because I feel guilty when I slow down and stop. I mean, come on. No one ever tells you what a good job you’re doing at resting!  When I stop for even just a moment, I hear a voice in my head that tells me I’m lazy or that I’m never going to do the things I want to do and be the person I want to be.

In other words, rest?? “Ain’t nobody got time for that!”

Maybe you can relate.

Maybe you don’t feel like you have time to simply breathe and rest.

You can’t slow down or little mouths won’t get fed.

You can’t slow down or the bills won’t get paid.

You can’t slow down or your dreams won’t come true.

Goodness, what an exhausting way to live. I can say that, because I’m right there with you. In fact, if I’m being honest, I am sitting here right now at 10:47 at night writing… about rest… instead of actually resting (and now bowing my head in shame).

But listen closely, friend. I want to share some truth with you over these next couple of blogs that God has been hitting me in the face with lately. And you might want to sit down. This could hurt.

| WE ARE NOT IN CONTROL |

Sorry, hun. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you are not in control of everything. The whole world, including yours, does not depend on you. And the whole world, including mine, does not depend on me. And, man, do I hate admitting that. Because let’s be real, it’s nice to be needed!

I recently read about Sabbath and it got me thinking about why God even set it in motion.

Growing up, I never quite understood Sabbath. I thought it was merely a day off for lazy people or a nice suggestion. Sadly, it never occurred to me until a couple of months ago that rest, though it’s required for many practical reasons, is also a posture of the heart. Rest is required so that I can flip my focus. Sabbath is not having a break-time so that I can acknowledge the work I have completed thus far. It’s acknowledging the work that God completed long ago through Jesus on the cross. It’s acknowledging the victory that God has already won and all that He has done for us.

Rest reminds me that I am not in control. It is not up to me to do it all. It’s already been done. Yes, we have responsibilities. Yes, God has entrusted us with purpose and tasks. But for doers like myself, we can often get so wrapped up in those things that we begin to raise ourselves above the One Who gave them to us. We begin to think that we have to “go-go-go” and “do-do-do” or nothing God wants to happen will get done. Oh, friend. We could not be more wrong. God doesn’t need us to do anything. He can do what He wants, when He wants. His plan does not depend on you and me. Yes, He wants us to join Him in it, but hear me on this — His plan does not rise and fall with how much we can accomplish. And it’s important we know that. Otherwise, we begin to elevate ourselves above the Creator without even realizing it. See, when we begin to operate in this way, our trust in God providing for us decreases and pressure on ourselves increases. Rest is a way for us to remember Who’s hands really do hold the whole world (that would be God) and who’s do not (that would be you and me, friend).

“Rest is a way for us to remember Who’s hands really do hold the whole world, and who’s do not.”

And though it can feel like a punch in the gut to realize it, it is so incredibly freeing. It is such a relief to stop for a moment, take a deep breath of fresh air, and know that it’s okay if we do. In fact, it’s encouraged.

Hi, friend. I’m Gabbi, and I am a procrastinator.

Seriously. It’s bad. For instance, I am sitting here staring at a pile of laundry that has yet to be washed or put away in over two weeks… That’s right. TWO WEEKS. I couldn’t tell you the last time I vacuumed our rugs or mopped the floor (probably should actually own a mop first. Making a mental note to put a mop on my grocery clicklist).

But it’s not just the not-so-fun things I put off. I am always waiting until absolutely necessary to do what I need to do or even what I want to do. It’s weird, and I’m working on it. Maybe you can relate.

So when I was reading the other day, I was struck by a statement that Jesus made. On this particular day, Jesus had done a ton of stuff – taught people, healed people, was being followed around by people. He was a busy dude. After all of this, Jesus got up early in the morning and went somewhere to pray. During His “quiet time”, the disciples came and told Him that people were looking for Him. What was Jesus’ response? You can find it in Mark 1:38.

He said to them, “Let us go somewhere else to the towns nearby, so that I may preach there also; for that’s what I came out here for.”

This really stood out to me. Jesus didn’t let busyness, tiredness, or an interrupted quiet time distract Him. He knew what assignment God had given Him here on this earth, and He wasn’t about to put it off.

Now, I don’t know about you, but this has really challenged me. So I want to ask you, and myself, two questions:

1. What did you come out here for?

What’s your purpose? Yes, we all have the same overarching purpose – to love God, love people, and make disciples. But how we go about doing that is different for everyone. So what’s yours? Is it starting that small-group in your home, starting that business you’ve always wanted, writing that book, working from home, staying at home? If you’re unsure, PRAY!

You can also check out some of my blogs on purpose where I give you some tools to figure it out!

2. Are you doing it?

Are you taking steps toward what it is God is asking you to do? Even if they’re small. Have you made that phone call, done that research, reached out to that person, written that first paragraph? Whatever it may look like for you, are you actually taking steps toward the purpose He has given you?

I am convinced that in my life, procrastination is often due to one of two things: busyness or fear disguised as busyness.

Chances are, if you’re breathing and have a family in any capacity, you’re busy. Now, busy can be good. Busy taking care of our families, busy in school, busy at our jobs, busy serving. All good things! But so many times, we let busyness become a distraction or an excuse. We forget about the dreams God put on our hearts because we are distracted with busyness, or we say we don’t have time for the assignments God has put on our hearts because we are busy.

There are other times that we use busyness as a shield. We’re afraid of what would happen if we began pursuing the dream God gave us — we’re terrified of what people will think or we’re simply scared of failing at the assignment altogether. So, instead of taking a step towards Jesus, we hide behind our “busyness”.

I want to encourage all of us to take a page from Jesus’ book.

Are you scared of failing?

Do it anyways, because that’s what you have come out here for.

Are you afraid of what people will think?

Do it anyways, because that’s what you have come out here for.

Are you unsure of yourself?

Do it anyways, because that’s what you have come out here for.

Is it easy? No, but the best things rarely are (take childbirth for instance… unless you have an epidural, which I did… twice). I want to challenge each of us to take the next few days and really think. When we’re doing laundry (which I should probably do) think about it. When we’re washing the dishes, think about it. When we’re in the shower, think about it. When we’re driving, think about it. What is God asking each of us to do? What is our assignment from Him in this season of life? What is your assignment from Him in this season of life? Let us identify it, write down steps we can take towards it, and, then, DO IT.

Because, friend, that’s what we have come out here for.

Hi friend. Last time we talked I was embarking on my very first fast ever where I actually depended on the Holy Spirit to help me and guide me through it.

I’m sure all of you have been on the edge of your seat wondering how it went… Okay probably not. But during it, the Holy Spirit revealed so much power and truth to me that I could not help but revisit it and share it with you all.

I figured if it set me free, maybe it will you, too.

When I began my fast, I did so with the intention to pray and seek insight for a new project my team and I had started. I didn’t feel like we were making the progress I wanted us to and I wanted to know why and how we could do it better. So I gave up food, I depended on the Holy Spirit (and by the way, it was the easiest fast ever because of that), and I began asking for insight. And let me tell you, He did not disappoint.

The Holy Spirit began showing me that though I had been praying about the project a lot and had been asking people to pray for it, over it, and for me throughout it, I had not once prayed for the team of people who were helping me with it… Ouch. I am embarrassed to even tell people that, but it’s true. I had not once even thought to do that. How did I turn this project into something that was all about me? How did I get it so wrong so quickly?

But you want to know what’s so incredible about the grace of God?

| As quick as I can make things go wrong, He can just as quick make them right again. |

As soon as I was punched in the gut with this revelation, I started praying for the members on my team. Want to know what started happening like the very next day? PROGRESS. The project started moving forward as soon as I switched my focus off of me and onto Him. And therein, is the beauty of grace.

But, He wasn’t done yet. There was one more thing He wanted to show me (yet another punch in the gut). See, this project of ours is pretty heavily dependent upon a website, and I wanted this website to look the very best that it could. Nothing wrong with that, right?! I mean, come on! But the problem is that I had begun working tirelessly on this site, because I wanted to make sure I wouldn’t be embarrassed by it. I wanted to make sure that it reflected me well, because my name was on the line with this thing!

The day after my fast ended, I got a call from someone saying that they had seen our website (before it was done, and yes I was mortified), and that they were interested in partnering with us… what?!? It was incredible! As soon as I got off the phone, the Holy Spirit said to me “You know that website you’re so obsessed with making absolutely perfect? I don’t even need it to accomplish what I want to accomplish. It’s not that I need you to be a part. I want you to be a part.”

Wow.

I was floored. Though it definitely felt like a slap in the face, it was also so completely FREEING —to know that if I do my part and do my best, I am not responsible for the outcome, He is. What a relief!

And I want to make sure you know that, as well, even if it feels like a slap in the face the way it did for me. Friend, whatever you have going on, whatever you’re trying to do or juggle, the outcome is not dependent solely on you. No matter what you have your hand in, it is not about you. It is about Jesus, and it is for others.

The moment we switch from excellence to perfectionism, we have switched from being Jesus and people-focused to self-focused. But here’s the beauty, as soon as we set our gaze back on Him, the Creator of it all, the pressure is off, progress begins, and freedom ensues.

Anytime I start feeling pressure and stress now, I check myself. I remind myself of where to put my focus and the freedom that is waiting for me there when I do.

And guess what? It’s waiting for you there, too.

I love food. If it was a love language, it would be in my top two for sure. I’m a pretty stingy person. I hate spending money on actual things, but I have no problem with spending “dolla dolla bills ya’ll” on food. Any kind, I’m not biased — fast food, Starbucks, pizza, chicken, ice cream… All good. All welcome here.

So when I participate in things such as fasting, I don’t often sacrifice my food. I’ll typically give up things like certain types of food or TV or social media. But never all food.

At the beginning of this year, I felt like God was asking me to do a personal fast. I know fasting is something that is absolutely necessary (especially when leading a ministry or starting down a new road He has called you to) and is completely under-practiced by many of us… namely me.  I thought about it for a while. I knew I needed to do it, but I just kept putting it off. Then finally, I decided to dialog with God about it and really try to do this thing.

“But You see,” I told Him, “Emerson (that’s my eldest baby girl), her birthday is tomorrow, so that’s not really a good time for me.” I really wanted to be able to fully participate in all of the festivities surrounding our daughter’s birthday. It seemed selfish to me, for some reason, to choose to do a fast and not celebrate completely with her.

We do this so often, don’t we? No? Just me? Okay, cool.

No time ever seems to be a good time to do what it is God is asking me to do. I am a master at finding reasons why I can’t or why I shouldn’t.

Want to know what God showed me in response to my excuse?

1. Fasting is not about convenience.

And, sidenote, when did it become that? When did I begin only fasting when I had nothing going on, no sacrifice to make, or when I wanted to drop some pounds to fit into my beach attire?

2. Everything is not about me.

My fasting will not upset my daughter’s birthday. We can still do all the things we had planned to do for her that day. And she will still have an absolute blast. Why? Because her birthday is not about me. It’s about her. But here I was, making it about me.

Ouch. Those truths felt like a slap in the face to me, but in the best way possible.

See, I’ve been asking Jesus to make me more like Him, to help me love others the way He does. And you know what, He was answering my prayer. He will help us be more like Him if we ask, but the process can often hurt.

| The selfishness of me was hindering the Jesus in me, and it had to go. |

But it won’t leave unless I am, first, aware that it’s there, and He knew that.

Goodness does it hurt when we try so hard to be Jesus followers and love the people in our paths and, then, become aware that we still have so much selfishness residing within us. I am a firm believer that selfishness is the number one destroyer of everything good — relationships, ministries, everything.

So how do we get rid of it? I’m not sure we ever fully do. The first step is to be aware that it’s there. After this, we can ask the Holy Spirit to help keep us in check, to continue to make us aware of when we are operating in selfishness and to give us wisdom and strength to move past it and rid us of it.

After this painful realization, we decided on when I would fast (pretty much, ASAP), but God and I had to settle the what. Through that process, God revealed even more to me. In the next blog, I’ll share what the Holy Spirit showed me in regards to fasting, dependence, and how it relates to everything we do (and I mean everything, sister).

I’ve always been a risk-taker. I love doing crazy, audacious, and sometimes stupid things. I live for the thrills of life.

The big things, the crazy things, those are the easiest steps for me to take. The easiest yes’s to give. But for some reason, it’s the small things that scare me. The day to day challenges…  especially if people I know (or people I know I will have to see again) are watching.

In highschool, I hated it if my mom didn’t pick me up immediately after school. I was terrified to simply sit outside and wait for her. Not because I was afraid someone was going to snatch me away, but because I was afraid of being seen by people. I was afraid of what someone would think if they saw a 17 year old girl waiting for her mommy to come pick her up.

Nowadays, I still get terrified if I have to sit or stand and wait for someone to get me, though now it’s more-so because I am scared of having to have a conversation with someone, anyone… but I digress.

The smallest things would throw me into a tailspin of fear and insecurity.

Maybe you can relate.

It takes me to a story that Matthew recounted about one of Jesus’ other disciples, Peter. Jesus sends his disciples along in the boat, and He comes along later just prancing and walking on the water. You know. No big deal. They see Him and think He’s a ghost. When Jesus tells them not to be afraid because it’s Him, Peter daringly says “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water.” A pretty risky move on his part. Of course, Jesus says “come on, bro” (that’s just how I hear Jesus talking to His friends).

Now at this point in the story, if you’ve heard it before, most people like to point out the fact that after Peter stepped out, he lost focus on Jesus and began to sink in the water. But can we please just take a moment here and appreciate the fact that Peter got out of the boat to begin with!

I mean, seriously. We should celebrate with Peter that he trusted enough to take a step out of the boat that night. Poor Pete gets a bad rap for something that, let’s be honest, we all would have done and probably do now on a consistent basis.

My question to you is do YOU trust Him enough to get out of whatever boat you’re currently in? Do you trust Him enough to step towards Him and His purpose for you or for your ministry?And do I trust Him enough?

Here’s the thing, friend. The great news. His mercy is new everyday. We don’t have to have enough faith to finish the race before we can begin. We just have to have enough faith to take the first step. Just trust Him right now in this moment and take one step out of the boat. Once we step out, then regroup, refocus, recharge, until you have enough grit and trust to take another step… and then another… and then another.

We don’t have to have it all figured out. We just have to trust Him more than we fear failure and take that first step.

So how ‘bout it, sister? Let’s get out of our comfort zones in the boat and take just one step toward the unknown. He’s waiting for us there.